Very often we come across situations in life or people that make us ask, “Why is this happening to me??!” Well, there is always a lesson to be learned… and the lesson lies in your perception. How you perceive a situation or a person is the answer to the question. For example, let’s say you get fired from your job. Your perception of the situation is anger, resentment, and a “how could they do this to me” point of view. In this instance, one must A. accept the ‘what is’- which is that they were fired. This is the fact, and this is the only thing that is true, even though our ego would like to build up a story about the “why” it happened, for instance, we may start saying to ourselves, “The boss is an idiot, they were jealous of me & they knew I knew more than them, so they fired me” or you may say, “Ughhhh, I can’t get anything right! I must have done something wrong and they fired me”…. both stories are the ego’s way of reinforcing a deep rooted belief, by building up it’s own reason in our minds. However, it may not be true. Or it may be true. We really do not know for sure. So if we stay focused on the ‘what is”, we learn the art of accepting a situation as it is. The next thing we are required to do in order to extract the “lesson” from any given event, is to really pay attention to these stories our ego is saying. Are the stories reinforcing a belief that we are too good, or that we aren’t good enough, or that others are out to get us, etc… These “stories” are the indication to what we need to work on. They all stem from a fear that needs to be confronted. Most likely in a situation such as a lost job, the fear would be that we are not worthy, that we are invaluable or that we are not ‘good enough’. Since our ego doesn’t want to see itself as the “problem”, it will start blaming the company, the boss, another co-worker etc… Or, maybe our ego is the one that always sees itself as the problem, in a case of a “low-self esteem” ego. In this instance our ego may take everything personally & it always assumes fault as the reason for any trouble in our lives. In either case, our perception of a situation is the indicator as to something we need to work on, a place that we are holding on to some fear. The only answer is to love ourselves unconditionally… love even the part of us that fears not being enough, not being valuable, or the one that fears others being jealous of them or that fears shining it’s light too bright. Once we have loved the part of us that is afraid, the fear can no longer bother us. At this point we can start transmuting the fear back in to high vibration love energy. We must stay focused on the “what is”… Even if the ‘what is” is that we are afraid to vulnerable, we are afraid to trust, whatever it may be. Only in complete and utter honesty with ourselves are we able to get to the root of our issues. Once we start resonating more in love instead of fear, we will find that our lives start to flow more smoothly. We can handle life’s ups and downs as they come without too much resistance and we also find that we were in fact not running our lives at all. There is always a higher intelligence at work, one that is trying to move us forward at the fastest rate possible. In the complete trust of this higher intelligence, we realize that even though some situation may look bad on the outside, something good ALWAYS comes from any perceived bad event. Our only task is to keep being honest with ourselves, keep loving ourselves UNCONDITIONALLY, and trusting that we will always be moving forward as long as stop resisting life as it comes. Lessons are moved through at lightning speed once we start to become acutely aware of how our ego processes each situation… The lesson lies in your perception.
Every relationship you have in your life right now you have attracted to you for a reason. Each person in your life is reflecting back to you an aspect of yourself. Normally, the relationships that you have attracted that you are having the most trouble with, either because the person brings about a negative, angry, or irritating emotional reaction from you, are the ones that mirroring back to you an unhealed aspect of your unconscious mind. Your ego, afraid to be “found out”, is pointing the finger outside of itself to others as the “problem” so that it can keep the spotlight off of itself. As long as we stay focused on what others are doing TO us, we never come to terms with our own perceptions (which are stemming from the illusory self/the ego). Our perceptions of others are purely from our OWN programming and ego NOT from the behavior of another person. If you are trying to understand the reason certain people are in your life, and what this can teach you about yourself, the answer lies in your perception of them. Maybe you perceive this person as not accepting of you, in which case, you must turn it around on yourself and ask, “why don’t I fully accept myself?” If you truly accepted yourself, someone else’s perceived non-acceptance would not irritate you. Or maybe you perceive someone as not understanding you, or not empathizing with you and showing you compassion. So turn it around on yourself, “Where am I not understanding my own self, and showing myself unconditional love and compassion to myself?” It is only when we love ourselves UNCONDITIONALLY, meaning EVEN loving the parts of ourselves that feel anger, jealousy, sadness, unworthiness etc… Love all these aspects of “self”. Once you have accepted and loved all these perceived “shortcomings” they can no longer bother you. They become healed. Hating and denying our shortcomings will perpetuate the problem of us hating and finding shortcomings in the people we have relationships with in our lives. Once we come to terms with our own self and heal our own psyche and realize the ego is not our true self, we naturally heal our relationships with others. We stop being angered by their reflecting back to us where we still haven’t come to terms with our own unconscious mind. Be honest with yourself. Question yourself, always. Point the finger back inside of you instead of out into the world… this is the most powerful thing you can do to heal the relationships in your life.
Life becomes frustrating when you take everything personally. Someone doesn’t hold the door open for you as you walk in a store, you immediately are offended & label them rude. Someone forgets to pick up their plate & put it in the sink, you’re angry bc for some odd reason you see this as a personal attack on you. A friend runs a little late to a lunch date & you’re annoyed bc you fail to see there might be a legitimate reason this has happened. Someone says something you deem “offensive”, but did you ever consider YOU may have taken it the wrong way? There’s 7billion people living on earth, if you think that everyone has received your personal “book of rules & conduct” that tells them exactly how you expect them to behave in any given situation, I assure you, they didn’t. Sometimes people just forget things, sometimes people just run late, sometimes people forget to say “please” or “thank you”, and it has nothing to do with you.. We’re human, we’re not perfect. People don’t need you to criticize them or put them down or yell at them.. What they need is empathy, empathize that they’re human & just b/c they didn’t behave exactly like YOU think they should have, doesn’t mean they are wrong. If you made a mistake you would want some empathy, compassion & forgiveness, right? Don’t take everything as a personal attack.. It makes life so much more difficult than it needs to be. Have an amazing night!
No one can MAKE you feel any certain way, if you don’t choose to. So many people are walking around thinking that other people are doing things TO them, while not realizing that they are the ones generating their own thoughts, feelings and perspectives on a situation. What a frustrating life to lead… to think that other people are in control of your emotions so much that any slip up by them will have the power to make you mad, sad, depressed, or even happy. When you root yourself in your own awareness and consciousness, you are able to see past the judgments of “good” or “bad” or “right” and “wrong”, and allow things to just be. It doesn’t mean you’re perfect always, but you allow your feelings and emotions to guide you into self awareness. You know that when you’re immediate reaction to things is anger, that your consciousness is showing you something you need to work on inside of YOURSELF, not something you need to change about another person. Try and put yourself in another person’s shoes, try and see things from their perspective too instead of only focusing on your OWN perspective as the absolute, ultimate truth. Your perspective is just that… YOUR perspective. It may not apply to everyone. You think you are punishing other people by getting mad at them calling them names or screaming or getting revenge on them etc…, but you are only punishing yourself. Stress, anger and frustration will punish you more than it will punish them, because you are the one who has to live with the low vibratory energies running through your system. Start looking at life through a broader perspective, everyone is operating from their own “truth” and this realization makes it so much easier to move through life and get along with other people. 🙂